Canada to Close Its Borders on January 21 to American Political Refugees

Canada to Close Its Borders on January 21 to American Political Refugees
Alert to readers:  Please see note at end.


As a summertime Canadian resident at our vacation home in Nova Scotia, I check out the Globe and Mail after I return to New Jersey, and this story by Globe and Mail reporter Isaac Bickerstaff caught my attention. He cites reputable sources who report on private conversations being held among Canadian Parliamentary leaders.

“We Canadians have always looked up to America,” Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau is reported to have said. “Actually,  it’s probably been a lot more like envy.  But as we see Mr. Trump  in action as the president elect, it’s turning to genuine alarm. For people less polite than we Canadians, the proper response might even be disgust.”

“Mr. Trump has already established a bizarre approach to dealing with leaders of foreign governments.  He treats us as if we were  potential contestants for “the Apprentice.” I got a call from him at supper time a few days ago. Strange as it was, I took the call. I decided to end it when Mr. Trump suggested that America should just buy Canada in order to get our oil.  The next day, he tweeted this response.


“Of course, Mr. Trump is buddy buddy with some foreign leaders, such as Vladimir Putin.  Actually he, and his Secretary of State choice, Exxon Mobil Corp Chief Executive Officer Rex Tillerson, will make a bundle from cozying up to Russia. Mr. Trump’s answer, ‘I like people who made a fortune.’ 

“When one looks at how you Americans elect presidents, perhaps it explains the strange people you wind up with: you spend several years and  $7,000,000,000 running what’s little more than a distasteful reality TV show directed by the Kardashians.   We get get our elections done in three months for $400 million, most of it in public funds.”

“But watching President-elect’s Trump’s cabinet picks is like having to stand by in horror  as your neighbor creates and populates an environmentally-polluted madhouse right next door.”

“A National Security Advisor who believes ‘radical Islamists are trying to create an Islamic state right here at home…Islamic militants who are dead set on taking us over and drinking our blood.’ Really. And this from a country that has spent over 5 billion dollars in a fifteen-year losing war that has cost thousands of dead American servicemen and women, killed hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi and now Syrian civilians, overwhelmed Europe with millions of war-ravaged refugees, and destabilized the Middle East for generations to come. We Canadians try to be a little less aggressive about our ‘security.’”

“A Secretary of Offense – my apologies – Defense, nicknamed “Mad Dog,” who has said,  “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.  It’s fun to shoot some people.”

“Each day we get news of a new cabinet selection that is unfathomably inappropriate: A Labor Secretary who believes people can live on an income of $15,800 a year  (while he makes $10,000,000 a year), a Health Secretary who wants to strip health insurance from 18 million Americans, an Education Secretary who wants to eradicate public education, and a climate change denier as head of the EPA, an organization he has repeatedly sued and wants to dismantle.”

“So frankly, we’re quite concerned that on January 21, after Mr.Trump’s inauguration, our borders will be overwhelmed by the majority of Americans who voted against Mr. Trump and now will try to flee Canada for refuge. We’re sorry. You’re nice people and all that, but we just don’t have room for you all.  Perhaps you could try to get into Mexico before Mr. Trump builds his wall.”



Note:  This is satire, not an actual news story. But Trump’s cabinet picks are horrifyingly real.

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